How It Began…
The conversations with Frank began one night nearly four months after he unexpectedly died. It was July 1, 2014. That July evening I purposefully said out loud, to Frank, that I missed him and loved him and wished we could have the conversational time we used to have. Was there a way? I was feeling sorry for myself, left behind while imagining that he was on the other side feeling immense love and experiencing amazing peace – like it said in some of the books I’d read. When I went to bed I silently asked him to get in touch with me, when he could, to let me know that he could still be here with me, too. I climbed into bed around seven. Dogs barked in the distance; my own dogs near me, Seurat snuggling close to my legs. I pulled the sheets around me—it felt unusually cool. Eventually the gentle sounds of the evening lulled me to sleep. I woke suddenly, not knowing what caused me to wake. Alert, I felt as if I’d had a good night’s sleep. The digital clock caught my attention: 11:11. I smiled, knowing it had to be Frank who had awakened me. He so loved numbers and patterns—the repetition of which would surely get my attention. Later, I’d learn this particular number pattern was considered by many to have spiritual significance. In Numerology, the number eleven is both a prime number and Master Number relating strongly to psychic abilities and mysticism. I smiled when I found the Astrological Equivalent of the number to be Sagittarius/Aquarius. I am Sagittarius. Frank, Aquarius. Such a powerful number sequence; no wonder he used it to wake me up. And, as if I needed more ammunition to quiet my scientific skepticism about number sequences, I gently reminded myself that more than a few notable scientists had been interested in number sequences and connections to matter. Among them, Wolfgang Pauli, one of the Quantum Physics pioneers; Carl Jung, not a scientist, but certainly a notable thinker; even Einstein was fascinated by numerical sequences. None of that mattered anyway. The numbers 11:11 were an auspicious sign signaling to me the spiritual presence of Frank. I got up to write a little bit in my ‘Notes in the Night’. I wrote, ‘I love you, Frank. And so miss you. It does make me feel good to know that you are here with me. How I wish we could talk.’ While I sat writing at my keyboard I remembered back thirty years to a time when I had experimented with ‘automatic’ writing in a journal. It had been difficult transitioning through divorce and entering architecture school. Someone had told me about a visualization technique that could acquaint me with a spirit guide. Through repeated visualizations, I found some peace and eventually began to write while immersed in a meditative state. I was told in one of the visualizations that the words came from an entity who called herself Rachael. Though my rational, scientific mind had refused to embrace the possibility, I possessed a sliver of curiosity that pried open that seemingly massive door of doubt. Once inside, messages of love and encouragement had flowed through my handwritten notations. I prepared myself with a deep breath. A firm pillow, perfectly positioned behind my back, supported me so that I could sit with my bare feet flat on the cool, concrete floor. I closed the lid of the laptop to the point where it could breathe, but not distract me with its light. I placed my fingers lightly on the separate keyboard. Surrounded by the quiet that only night can provide, I closed my eyes, took another deep breath, and slowly exhaled. With each breath I relaxed further into a meditative tranquility. Then I waited….. From A Woman Awakens: Life, AfterLife by Jan Hart, 2016. Chapter 24: Visits and Visitations.
